This topic is going to be just published once, as this is something we even try to avoid talking about. It’s not about being in denial, it’s about trying not to dwell on our frustration.
Sometime in 2003, after years of trying without any good result, we decided to finally to go to a fertility specialist(one of the best in NYC). We both went into the usual work-up, more so with me and everything came back normal. We then proceeded to all the available medical intervention, from conservative to aggressive. As you know by now, all of our efforts went to waste.
In an effort to beat the biological clock, we tried it again this year hoping we get lucky, because this time it is going to be our last chance. As is, we are still unlucky. We agreed we will just take each day at a time and not pressure ourselves anymore. I’m just immuned to needles now, and all those days when I have to get up very early just so I can go to the Fertility Institute on certain days of the month in conjunction with my cycle. The whole process is draining not only physically, but also money-wise. Treatment doesn’t come cheap. Our health insurance only covers $25,000 lifetime, and that amount is only good for one cycle. That’s been exhausted in 2003. It would have been money well spent if only we’re blessed enough to have one.
Adoption has crossed our minds. Now, our big dilemma is will it be a newborn or a toddler? Will we want to go through the tough screening process? So complicated, too many things to think about. Where do we go from here?